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Last week I got the notice and sample ballot for the New Jersey primary elections in the mail -- I noticed that they were going to use some kind of an electronic voting machine, which perked my interest. The polling place is a couple blocks away at a senior citizens apartment building in the old Roebling complex, and it opened at 07:30h --
So I showered and made myself presentable, arriving there with camera in hand and a pair of John F. Kennedy numbered limited edition bears (I always bring the gals bears or something when I go to vote) at about 08h, allowing them some time to set up and figure out how to use the new whatever it was.
There were 4 ladies there -- sorry gals, I only brought 2 bears -- they found my name -- there were about 8 names on that registration sign-in page, all but one of which was registered nonaligned or whatever the designation is -- one wayward peep had REP beside their name -- they might live in my neighborhood and were bombed out of their mind when they registered?
OK, a problem seems to have appeared in the process -- since one can only vote for whatever party they registered for, I was told that I could not vote because I was not listed as DEM or REP!! I told them that I would, naturally, vote Democrat, but they said I would have to go God knows where to change my registration -- come on now, this does not seem like a very democratic process somehow -- what if a registered REP wanted to vote DEM, or the other way around?
I tried to reason with them, but to no avail -- the one time that I actually get out of the house to do something important and I cannot even do it -- it is beginning to sound almost like the many thousands of voters one always hears about that cannot vote for some weird reason or other -- and to top it off, I am a white boy! I thought that only so-called minorities always loudly complain about voting problems. It actually felt sort of good to now be counted in their numbers! Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, where are you when I needed you?
I did not want to miss the chance to take a couple pics of the new monster voting thing -- I sort of expected a computer-like something, but it was really huge -- and there was only one available, which seemed sort of inconvenient if and when the lines start forming --
on an apparently paper screen covered by plastic with the candidates names and other data, one supposedly clicks a box on the quasi-touch screen, gets some green lights to go on, and if they want a write in candidate, they use the lower keyboard to type in the name --
So, dismayed, disillusioned and mad as hell, I left --
Not to be totally discouraged, I called The Trentonian, the local tabloid formatted newspaper that always has a more creative, sensationalistic way of reporting things (similar to some of my stuff, incidently!) -- this must have been 08:45 already -- I briefly explained to the operator that I just tried to vote and was told I could not, ever though I was officially registered, and I would like to speak with the editor or some news reporter -- nobody available to help me -- GAWD, and this is a newspaper?
OK, so I then called The Trenton Times, a paper I like a lot more and even used to have delivered, until I found that it was frequently stolen from my front door step where they left it, and discontinued delivery years ago! I told the operator the same basic thing, and she said there were no reporters there -- well, how about some editor? She connected me with some dude who told me that New Jersey is one of a few states which only allows peeps to vote DEM or REP in the primaries, and they have to be registered as one or the other to be able to vote -- he did not particularly think the system was all that good, and suggested that I call the Mercer County Clerks office to ask them what I should do, and told me that whatever happens to make sure that I get out to vote again in November, which is the one that theoretically counts. OK, he was sort of helpful, but I still did not think this whole thing sounds right somehow!
I then called the Mayor's Office -- nobody home, just a recorded message and I hate leaving messages that are rarely if ever answered! OK, let me try the Governor's Office -- some nice gal answered and said that nobody gets in until 09:30h, but she would connect me with God knows who -- I waited a while, then was cut off -- called back and was told by the same gal that nobody is there until later and to call back -- HOLY SHIT! How can any government function this way -- are there not some special emergency numbers available when something urgent comes up -- to me, not being allowed to vote was extremely urgent, and I was not going to put up with this crapo! Is Homeland Security any better? If you read some of my previous Special Reports you already know that nobody ever seems to know what to do in an emergency and passes the buck to somebody else.
OK, as an absolutely last resort I called the Mercer County Clerk office -- some gal answered and I described my concerns -- she connected me with some voting office -- I spoke with a Teresa, who said they should have allowed me to vote if I told them I would vote Democratic -- she gave me her number and told me to tell the gals at the polling place to call her if they had a question -- I thanked her profusely, and, with renewed vigor, headed back to the voting place.
Back I went, absolutely determined that I was not going to take no for an answer this time -- I did take two more JFK bears for the other two nice ladies -- they still did not have a clue and I gave them Teresa's phone number -- now here comes the surprise detail -- they did not even have a freekin phone to use at the polling site! No security guard either. What moron sets these polling places up, anyway? Quite by chance, one of the four ladies had a cell phone tucked away in her purse in a really nice cloth drawstring pouch and another one actually made the call -- it was OK for me to vote, finally!
OK, they wrote with pencil DEM over the whatever it was that was in that registration thing beside my name -- I then signed a couple documents and got a cute little paper ticket that I had to give to one of the gals on the side of the voting contraption -- OK, I needed a chair, and I assume that every voter would need one at the monstrosity -- there is no way they could possibly type anything while standing.
I closed the curtain and clicked the Bush button, just to see if any green lights would show up -- NONE DID! Then I tried the Kerry button -- still no green lights anywhere -- I opened the curtain and complained that there were no green lights where there were supposed to be some -- the gal on the side smallish console probably started clicking away at the several buttons she had there and at one point a bunch of green Xs appeared, then disappeared -- she did have a mimeographed brochure about how the damn machine was supposed to function -- after a few minutes the Xs appeared again -- I closed the curtain and on the small keyboard display it said I was the first voter -- NO SHIT SHERLOCK! I clicked a few different choices just to see how the thing worked, switching and changing -- curiously I could not activate any of the things on the REP side -- I assume that the gal at her console pressed the DEM button and that was the only choices I had -- is this really freely democratic? Why have so-called secret ballots and a curtain to hide one's choices if they did not have a choice in the first place? It suggests that a REP could not secretly vote DEM or the other way around -- this is beginning to sound like the Florida fiasco all over again!
OK, experimenting, I then tried a write in, which the gals told me I was not able to do to begin with -- Hillary Clinton instead of Kerry -- DAMN, the keys are really difficult to press -- how many older folk with arthritic fingers will be able to press the correct keys, will they be given a seat to sit in, if they understand how to use the thing in the first place? And, apparently, if it is not done correctly, the vote will not be counted! I wrote in two more votes for something or other -- one was for Helen Boehm, who used to be the head of the world famous Trenton porcelain manufacturer, Boehm Studios before she sold out and moved to Florida not that long ago! Curiously, one of the gals opened the curtain while I was still in there, checking if I was still alive, I assume -- are they supposed to do this?
Making sure that I had all the available green thingys lit, I finally clicked the big red CAST VOTE button on the right -- it took way longer than expected, and if they really have a long line of potential voters, they might need coffee and donuts to keep them awake while waiting -- or maybe sleeping bags! I wished the very poorly prepared and/or equipped gals luck and headed back home.
This is really going to be an interesting November, if my experience is not just a fluke in the system! God help the country if what I experienced will be the norm.
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