This is the moment my readers have been waiting for since before Christmas. I am extremely pleased to have with me this evening the author of several best-sellers, both in the U.S. and abroad.

At this time allow me to present Ms. Lynnutte See....

Thanks, Sonny, for inviting me to take part in your highly popular interviews. It seems to be your total objectivity which attracts the public. They are so fed up with the subjective media coverage of just about everything these days, and people find your up-to-the-minute commentaries a refreshing breath of reality in their lives. I hear that even a Gore family member won some of your bears!

Q - Ms. See, what topic or themes best describe the books which you have published thus far?

A - My literary creativity spans a wide and varied genre, from historical novels to political satire. In Sister Love, a Gothic female historical novel set in my home state of Wyoming (or should it be Texas?), I portrayed a realistic account of the ardors, daily lives and intimate desires of frontier women, a subject rarely encountered in noteworthy world literature. And since I travel to Washington on weekends, I know the inner workings of the political machinery so well that I was compelled to write Presidential Privilege and The Political Body, both satirical novels about the Nation's highest public offices.

Q - I understand that Sister Love (1980s) was only published in Canada, so your American fans may not be too familiar with it, unfortunately. If you have a few cases of extra copies, perhaps you might consider offering them to your avid readers on eBay, The World's Online Marketplace. It is certainly a refreshingly modern view of the lives of these adventurous pioneer women, alone together in the wide open spaces to fend for themselves. In one passage, describing how two women openly embraced, you wrote that you, "felt curiously moved, curiously envious of them." Have you ever had a lesbian affaire? Are the characters based at least partially on your own experiences?

A - What does lesbian mean? I have an excellent grasp of the English language, matter of fact I was one of the coeditors of the Internet Unabridged Readers' Dictionary, but I am totally unfamiliar with that particular word. Is it French? I could never really French very well.

Yes, I probably do, at least subconsciously, include characters based on people I have known, but most likely wouldn't recognize them unless someone mentions a similarity.

Q - In Presidential Privilege (1970s), your novel deals with the tempestuous political life of a President who seeks solace and guidance in daily sessions with a psychiatrist, and who is ultimately betrayed by his own Vice President. Was this based on an actual politician, or just your hallmark imaginative fiction?

A - ALL persons holding high public office have trouble sometimes dealing with the fantasy world they inhabit, into which reality often suddenly appears and causes inner and external conflicts. That was written at a time when just about every yuppy had a shrink as a shoulder to cry on. We have seen how some recent Presidents have relieved their tensions -- golf, ski trips, inviting interns to let it all hang out. They all found relief in their own way.

Q - Your latest and most familiar book, The Political Body, might appear particularly relevant to American politics of the new millennium. Bully Vandercleve, the fictitious Republican Vice President elect, is so bored with things that, as you wrote, "It was only a matter of time before he started looking for ways to drain his Type-A batteries." And he does this in an adulterous tryst with a voluptuous female TV anchor woman, giving "new meaning to the media term one-on-one". Unfortunately, shortly before his official inauguration he is in his townhouse making passionate love to this reporter and has a fatal heart attack, dying "blissfully, at age 59, in carnal arrest," forever wearing a "beatific smile on the Vice President's face". Are you aware that the shockingly humorous content of this book caused several people around the world to suffer heart attacks while reading it? And apparently it happened each time this opus was re-released.

A - That is pure rubbish! Sonny, you know that people always want to connect unrelated events just to satisfy their hunger for sensationalistic morbid headlines! That's what keeps the tabloids in business at the checkout counters across the world!

Q - I fully understand, Ms. See. We all know it would be pure coincidence. Returning to reality once again, what do you think of the alleged preposterous prediction of Nostradamus (ca. 1555) which has been circulating for some time on the Internet -

A - Although I am a direct descendent of that great soothsayer, and have read his writings in the original Latin, I am totally unfamiliar with that quote. He has written about so many things and in such a cryptic way that each person gives their own personal interpretation to a particular passage. Thus he seems to have been able to foretell just about every minor and major event in world history since the 16th century! ERGO - preposterous!

Q - I tend to agree with you on that one, Ms. See. It is sort of like viewing an abstract painting and trying to figure out what it represents figuratively. Every viewer invents a different conclusion in line with their personal experience -- while the artist himself simply splashed cans of paint onto an oversized blank canvas until the containers were empty and convinced his gallery agent that it was the most significant work he produced in 20 years! It eventually sold on eBay for over 20k! Quite personally, if I cannot see some semblance of something at least vaguely figurative in these works, they are just pure trash!

In closing, I have one last question for you, Ms. See - what are your immediate concrete plans for the future? Any new manuscripts in the works?

A - Sonny, you know that I am a very active and highly ambitious woman. I have always been secretly extremely interested in Natural History, and am gathering material for a definitive treatise on The Butterflies of Florida.

Aside from my obvious writing skills and ability, my innermost desire is to hold a high political public office on my own merits. Another book or two and I may be catapulted into the political arena quite by chance, and I shall certainly be ready for it.

And thank you again, Sonny, for inviting me to appear on this, the last interview in your Promo Bear series. SMOOCH......SMOOCH <as close to French as I can get>

It has been an honor to have you with me this evening, Ms. See, and I am sure that my readers will rush right out to search for your remarkable books, and will look forward to any and all of your future endeavors. Good night and God bless. SMOOCH......SMOOCH <an authentic well-practiced deep-throated giraffe-tongued French - oo lala!>