Some gals on an online Beanie news list I have been subscribed to for several years had been telling me how great a crock pot / slow cooker is for yummy and tender-meated meal preparation. My Mom had one, which I inherited -- a smallish round one, probably dating from the 1950s/1960s -- I looked through the dark recesses of my dungeon basement but was unable to locate it.
My favorite dishes are fish/meat based -- pork, beef, veal, Polish sausage, hot dogs, salmon, shrimp, and a few other staples that I usually get at Sam's Club -- I sort of reduced my carbohydrate intake, eating less rice, pasta, potatoes and bread/grain derivatives, and have lost what I considered ±25 excess pounds over a 2-3 month period -- I still occasionally munch on chocolate, cheesecake and cream donuts -- and sometimes add cuscus, beans of several kinds, and much smaller amounts of rice and/or pasta than I used to make. Red wine always accompanies my dinner, which is usually quite late in the evening compared with normal American custom, perhaps a throwback to my years in Spain where they generally have a late dinner.
So when I finally had to go to Sam's Club to get cat food and other necesities, I checked for a crock pot, which I always remember seeing on the shelves -- there was only one model available, slightly larger than I thought I needed, but so what.
Rival Smart Pot Stoneware Slow Cooker
The nicely illustrated box front provides
some details about the contents -- 
-- electronic programmable crock pot base, two different heavy
white glazed ceramic inserts, stainless steel and glass lid, and
a kewl travel case that keeps the crock contents warm when one
takes the dinner to Grandma's or that pot luck dinner at a friend's
place..
The Rival Smart Pot Stoneware Slow Cooker is an elegant, streamlined modern appliance -- I chose
the only one available on the shelf at Sam's, 6 quarts,
so it is relatively large for only one person -- 
-- most of what I prepare for dinner is made in
quantity, anyway, and usually lasts me from 2 to 3 days, simply
for convenience
The control panel is really simple and straight
forward -- 
-- the COOK TIME button toggles between the HIGH and
LOW settings, each having a different HRS timer,
all automatic -- when the programmed time is up, the WARM light glows!
This modern wonder also serves as a space
heater for your cat/s -- 
-- particularly on colder evenings, such as I have been experiencing
lately -- and the good news seems to travel fast -- 
-- as younger kittys notice what the older one
is doing! They are such fast learners! You will also note my toaster
oven, coffee maker and coffee bean grinder in the background.
The following recipes include the usual list of INGREDIENTS, as well as general preparation WHAT TO DO instructions.
I have added brief NOTES to each recipe, basically just to add something which may be of related interest --
and have evaluated the success of each gourmet delight with a handy CAT APPROVAL INDEX -- since my Sphynx and Siamese kittys are always the closest, most reliable judge of what I make -- the C A I ranges from -1 = they would not even go near it, to 10+ = the plate was licked clean and if they could have eaten the plate, they would have!
My readers may use their own experimental approach to vary and improve their individual results. Be creative!
Bon Apetit!
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Below you will find excitingly different, creatively prepared and easy to make gourmet delights by Chef Sonny to tantalize your refined palate and thoroughly delight your bored taste buds -- using your own recipe variations can only bring increased sensual pleasure on many levels. I've shown you mine, now show me yours!
1. Crocked Pork Meltdown
2. Autumnal Watermelon Chicken Equinox
3. "Where's The Beef" Interlude
4. Faux Flying Chocolate Moose Paws
5. Apple and Carrot Ricey Boob Temptation
6. Christmas Leg of Faux Reindeer
7. Beef Pterostilbene
1. Crocked Pork Meltdown
INGREDIENTS:
4 boneless pork chops 1 sliced onion 4 tbs minced garlic 2 sliced tomatoes 1/2 cup dried cranberries 2 bay leaves 2 cups frozen mixed veggies 1 cup water/apple liquor (Berentzen Liqueur / Kornbrenner zu Haselünne / Germany) dash soy sauce 1/2 cup fine tapioca
WHAT TO DO :
defrost 4 boneless pork chops, brown them after slitting in a couple places and adding chopped garlic into slits -- put 1/2 of sliced onions in bottom, then pork, then rest of onions, sliced tomatoes, dried cranberries, 2 bay leaves, mixed veggies (frozen), cup of water and apple liquor, dashes of soy sauce and sprinkling of tapioca.
Set the COOK TIME for LOW / 10 HRS
N O T E S :
I am amazed at how hot the outside of the thing gets! Is this normal? About the only place I could put the slow cooker and plug it in, is in front of the toaster oven -- tried putting it on a textured glass trivet/cutting board thingy, but the crock pot slides all over -- the same with the smooth top of my microwave -- even on the smooth vintage formica countertop it sort of slides, but there is not anyplace else to put the freekin thing except outside on the sidewalk! Why they could not have added some kind of anti-slip thingys on the bottom is beyond me -- but with how hot it gets, they would prolly burn off anyway!
So I am not all that thrilled about this detail of this electronic modern marvel -- even the raised handle of the glass lid gets VERY hot when cooking --
it came with 2 different heavy ceramic crockpot inserts, one having a partition to cook different things at the same time -- I may try that another time --
if after the 10 hours, that pork is not really tender and yummy, I hope at least the cats like it -- and I sort of hope the damn pot does not burn through the formica counter top and what I have left are some stewed fast fried cats!
Well, to my complete surprise, the pork is fabulously tender, breaking as easily as salmon, and the entire concoction is really yummy -- even the cats love it! Hurray for crock pots! Now I have to try it again, after munching up this monster meal which will probably last me another 2 days. The removable oval ceramic pot with handles, and handled glass lid is very convenient for storing the leftovers in the fridge!
The accompanying
wine was a -- 
-- 1998 Mommessin Les Epices
Chateauneuf du Pape / Quincie / France.
CAT APPROVAL INDEX : 10+
Prepared on : Monday, 22 September 2003
2. Autumnal Watermelon Chicken Equinox
INGREDIENTS:
1 crock pot 4 chicken thighs with bone (frozen) 2 yellow peppers 1 red pepper 1 orange pepper 3 tbs minced garlic 2 handfulls dried cranberries 1 tsp sea salt Bulgur wheat StoveTop homestyle herb stuffing 1/2 cup water/apple liquor (Berentzen Liqueur / Kornbrenner zu Haselünne / Germany) McCormicks Montreal Chicken seasoning cilantro 1/3 bar of butter 3 slices watermelon
WHAT TO DO :
set COOK TIME at LOW / 8 hrs -- start adding stuff -- sliced pepper strips to line bottom, minced garlic, frozen chicken thighs
sprinkle with cilantro and McCormicks seasoning
cut watermelon in slices, remove seeds (save seeds to plant somewhere) -- cover chicken with watermelon hunks -- add cranberries, Bulgur wheat, stove top stuffing -- sprinkle with apple liquor and some water -- top with slices of 1/3 butter stick -- change the COOK TIME for HIGH / 6 HRS
I have since thrown in what little was left of the Bulgur wheat stuff from years ago, and added some more water and apple liquor -- at this point I still have about 2-3 hours before I sample my new creation.
N O T E S :
For three days I have been having slices of my first watermelon in many years -- I wanted to use the crock pot again after my first success, but did not buy sweet potatoes and some other stuff I wanted to throw in the next time -- what the hell, I have other stuff that can go into the pot -- and that is how it started -- was even thinking of adding coffee and chocolate, but decided against it for some unknown reason.
A person with a very refined palate will notice the nuance of flavour provided by the watermelon.
The accompanying
wine was a -- -- 1999 Rothschild Mouton Cadet
Bordeaux / Gironde / France.
CAT APPROVAL INDEX : 10+
Prepared on : Tuesday, 30 September 2003
3. "Where's The Beef" Interlude
INGREDIENTS:
2 lb ground beef, unthawed or dethawed or whatever 20oz can crushed tomatos 3 leeks 1 onion 2 sweet potatos 5 tbs minced garlic 1 tbs sea salt 1 tsp cumin 1 tbs garlic-herb pepper 1 tbs chilli powder 1lb chick peas 1/2 glass old Sherry (Hidalgo / Fino Superior "El Cuadrado" / San Lucar de Barrameda / España) 27oz jar pasta sauce with mushrooms
WHAT TO DO :
start cooking water, put dry garbanzos in pot when water is hot, boil a couple minutes, let stand about an hour, drain, rinse --
read emails on computer -- send FAX -- make a fresh pot of coffee -- optimize puter hard drive using Norton System Works --
slightly brown ground beef, pour off fat a couple times -- dice onion -- peel sweet potatoes, cut each into 4 slices and cut each slice in half -- cut top green leaves from leeks, rinse to get out sand/soil, cut each into four sections -- keep cats out of cooling ground beef --
start placing goodies on bottom of crock pot -- leeks, sweet potatoes, half the onion, garlic, half the ground beef, garbanzos, remaining ground beef, remaining onion, seasonings, crushed tomatoes, Sherry -- cover -- have a glass of Sherry --
press COOK TIME button twice -- setting for HIGH / 6 HRS --
added 27oz jar of pasta sauce with mushrooms and some more Sherry about half way through -- should I add chocolate?
N O T E S :
Took first pics of crock pot, trying to get cats out of the way of their new warm/hot place in a very cold kitchen -- see above photos
OK, it's 11 minutes after midnight -- the crock pot is bubbling away, or as Sybil would say, boiling and toiling in her cauldron -- apparently loads of juice thus far, but it usually seems to get less when cooling -- did not add any corn flour or other thickening agent -- am not adding chocolate, or tongue of toad, this time -- made a half pound of rigatoni pasta, #27, to accompany the main dish, whenever it is done -- they are the round fluted tubular things that hold sauce and whatever else falls into the space, and even the cats generally like it -- had a glass of Der Lacks GoldWasser, as I sometimes do before dinner -- that is the schnops with the gold flakes in it.
The accompanying
wine was a -- -- 2001 C/T Domaine Caton
Merlot / Servian / France.
Once again the meal was an absolute success -- the garbanzos were not as squishy as they usually are when I make them by themselves -- slightly crunchy but very easily munchable for the denture impaired among us.
CAT APPROVAL INDEX : 10- -- most, but not all, of the garbanzos disappeared
Prepared on : Monday, 6 October 2003
4. Faux Flying Chocolate Moose Paws
INGREDIENTS:
1 sweet potato, peeled, sliced 7 small potatoes (in package), peeled, quartered 1 medium-large onion, halved, sliced 1 handful of small peeled carrots (in package) 1 handful red bliss potatoes, diced (in package) 1 handful chipotle barbeque diced potatoes (in package) 1/2 package (in package) sliced mushrooms 5 boneless chicken breasts (instead of moose paws), lightly browned in butter 1 apple, peeled, halved and sliced 1 lemon, juice of 5 smallish chunks of sugared ginger 7 pickled garlic cloves, halved (in package) 3.5oz box Nestle Raisinets 1 tbs Chef Prudhommes Poultry Magic 1 0.70 oz envelope of Spice Islands Tomato Pesto pasta sauce 1 tps sea salt 4oz apple liquor (Berentzen Liqueur / Kornbrenner zu Haselünne / Germany) 4oz water 4 heaping tbs Aunt Jemima's Quick Grits 5 oz sherry Hidalgo Manzanilla Fina / Sanlucar de Barrameda / Spain
WHAT TO DO :
place 1/2 of onion, sweet potato, small carrots, 4 small potatos, mushrooms on bottom of crock pot -- have glass of Der Lacks GoldWasser -- lightly brown chicken breasts/moose paws in butter -- place in crock -- add the rest of onion, 3 potatoes, handfuls of already diced potatoes, Poultry Magic, Raisinets, lemon juice and manzanilla, garlic cloves, ginger, other half of apple -- sprinkle more Poultry Magic and tomato pesto powder over top -- add sea salt
press COOK TIME button once -- setting for HIGH / 4 HRS -- starting at 18:43h
N O T E S :
Many of the ingredients, the ones in package, came from Bernar's fridge, all were already opened by him, and since he left for Arizona earlier this week, the stuff will go bad before he comes back next week -- some may have been sitting there for several weeks already anyway! The box of Raisinets was provided by Mare, from Wisconsin, in a surprise package of sauces she sent me to use with my crock pot when I make a roast in it, although the chocolate covered raisons probably didn't have that destination, I thought they might make a gourmet statement, and I wanted to add chocolate to one of my masterpieces anyway.
The lemon was also from West Trenton -- looked sort of petrified -- you must squeeze it in the following way or the results won't be the same -- use a vintage clear depression glass juicer with handle, no chips, cracks or crazes -- you know, the proverbial eBay in mint condition kind that you never get if you win the thing (I think it's the mint that adds that real special flavour accent) -- cut lemon in half -- squeeze -- remove seeds (I removed 19 seeds -- your results may not be the same if your lemon has more or fewer seeds) from juice and pulp -- add Manzanilla (which finished off an old bottle), pour over chicken, or should I say moose paws -- start getting a batch of eBay goodies to list tonight -- getting sleepy already --
added the apple liquor and water, as well as the quick grits to thicken what juice there was, mixed twice about 3+ hours into the cooking -- as usual I am starving to death and I still haven't gotten tonights batch of treasures ready for eBay because I have been trying to keep up with the Earth-shattering news about Apple Computer making their iTunes Music Store available to PC users, meaning that they can now really make use of their iPods, that revolutionary music device that doubles as a pocket-sized hard drive for various data and photo file storage purposes! I should do the eBay thing before I eat, because if I eat first I have a tendency to fall asleep within an hour.
Oh, yes, one minor thing -- how did I come up with the Faux Flying Chocolate Moose Paws title for this one? Well, faux is French for false/counterfeit/imitation, and I like moose, they are cute animals (which sounds like mousse, a la chocolate mousse), even though they don't usually fly -- I think it's because their antlers get caught in the planes propeller -- anyway, since I could not find any non-flying moose steaks at Sam's Club, chicken would have to do the imitation trick -- I didn't want to call it Moose Wings because Buffalo Wings already exist, so Paws it was -- am I making any sense here? Who cares!
The accompanying
wine was a -- -- 1998 Paul Jaboulet Aine Crozes
Hermitage Les Jalets Syrah / La Roche de Glun / France.
The cats are currently munching away at the plate of this creation which I left for them -- if one has a very refined palate, one might distantly taste the chocolate -- I assume that the amount of chocolate in that package was minimal -- it seems as if I hit another bullseye with this yummy dinner -- just looked, and the cats have only finished half the plate already, so I can't in all conscience give this a 10 rating even though I could have eaten 3 servings instead of the 2 that I woofed down. It's now 01:29 of Saturday, I put a small batch of goodies on eBay before dinner and my eyes seem to be drooping already....... am finishing off the 2nd glass of wine ...... Zzzzzzzzzz
CAT APPROVAL INDEX : 9
P/S -- OK, I removed the minus sign after the 9 because apparently the only thing the cats didn't like were those diced potatoes [in package] -- gawd knows how long they were in package, knowing Bernar! I also decided that I shall not include any more chocolate in my gourmet delights simply because it's a waste of good chocolate, which is a major food group for many people! It tastes a lot better by itself.
Prepared on : Friday, 17 October 2003
5. Apple and Carrot Ricey Boob Temptation
INGREDIENTS:
5 chicken breasts with bone 1 large sliced onion 5 large carrots, sliced into 1" chunks 4 apples, cored and sliced 6 cloves of garlic, sliced 1 20oz can crushed tomatos several smallish pieces of candied ginger, diced 1 tsp salt 3 tbs butter, sliced 1 cup Basmati rice 1/2 cup water 2/3 cup Aunt Jemima's Quick Grits 1 tsp ground garlic pepper 4oz apple liquor (Berentzen Liqueur / Kornbrenner zu Haselünne / Germany)
WHAT TO DO :
defrost 5 boobs with bones, brown them in butter -- put 1/2 of sliced onions, apples and carrots in bottom, then boobs, sprinkle with seasoning, then add garlic, butter, rest of onions, apples, carrots, water and apple liquor, crushed tomatoes --
prepare rice in separate pot until done
Set the COOK TIME 4 clicks to LOW / 10 HRS
add grits after 4 hours
add rice after 8 hours
N O T E S : On this second day of gobbling up this savory dish, perhaps the only thing that I might have done differently is check the little recipe booklet that came with the pot to see if one should do chicken on LOW or HIGH for fewer hours, simply because some of the chicken appears somewhat dark, even though it is still very tender and mouth watering. The cats really seemed to enjoy this one because both males were at my own plate sticking their noses in it, trying to grab a bit of boob as I lovingly placed each erotically succulent piece in my mouth, and I had to chase them away with a folded newspaper, which they already know, just from hearing it crumple, is a dire warning sign of GO AWAY -- but maybe they were just being normal males and are simply always fixated on boobs? They seem to like quickies though, because their generous after-dinner portion was all over with in a flash! Isn't that just like a male? I wonder if I would get the same reaction had I to have had bull cojones on my plate?
The accompanying
wine was a -- -- 2001 C/T Aine Domaine Caton
Cabernet Sauvignon / Servian / France.
CAT APPROVAL INDEX : 10+
Prepared on : Wednesday, 29 October 2003
6. Christmas Leg of Faux Reindeer
INGREDIENTS:
1 4.24 lb boneless leg of lamb (wrapped in twine) 1 large sliced onion 3 medium potatoes, sliced into quarters 2 large sweet potatoes, sliced into chunks 1 package Knorr Classic Brown Gravey Mix* 1 package Hidden Valley Ranch Seasoning Mix* 2 tbs minced garlic 1 package whole smallish shitake mushrooms, sliced into quarters 1 tsp sea salt 2 tbs soy sauce 1 tbs 4 Seasons fresh ground pepper (has 4 different kinds of pepper corns in pepper mill) 1/2 cup dried cranberries 3 bay leaves 1/2 cup water 1/2 cup Wolff's Fine Granulation Kasha 4oz apple liquor (Berentzen Liqueur / Kornbrenner zu Haselünne / Germany)
WHAT TO DO :
put 1/2 of sliced onions, potatoes and sweet potatoes in bottom, then the lamb, in center; sprinkle with different seasoning, then add garlic, rest of onions, potatoes, sweet potatoes, mushrooms, water and apple liquor --
Set the COOK TIME 2 clicks to HIGH / 6 HRS
add kasha after 5 hours
N O T E S : * Mare, a friend in Wisconsin, kindly provided the packets of seasoning mix after she saw my last recipe. And I finally used up the last of that apple liquor! I had to use leg of lamb instead of reindeer because I couldn't catch any reindeer although I did hear them on my roof -- and lamb was relatively inexpensive at Sam's Club.
I may have loaded the crock pot up too much because the contents came just about to the glass cover top, which may or may not affect the results -- the hunk of lamb is sizable, and perhaps had I to have cut the veggies into smaller pieces, it might not have seemed so full -- in the end the volume went down and there was an abundance of dark juice.
Since I was totally miserable, with what turned out to be an upper respiratory infection, since about 23 December, I really didn't have too much appetite. I filled up a plate, as usual, and just nibbled at it, and it was really good -- the lamb basically crumbled using a fork! It lasted a full 5 days, and the cats actually wound up eating most of what I had on my plate, and LOVED IT!
The accompanying
wine was a -- 
-- 1997 Il Ponte Chianti / Italy.
CAT APPROVAL INDEX : 10+
Prepared on
: Thursday, 
25 December 2003
7. Beef Pterostilbene
INGREDIENTS:
1 2 lb ground beef 2 medium onion, grated 2 medium-large potatoes, slice-grated/sliced 1 lb pealed baby carrots, whole 1 head garlic, sliced 1/2 cup Ocean Spray Craisins / Sweetened Dried Cranberries 2 cups fresh blueberries 1 822g can Vitarroz Habichulas Rosadas / Fancy Pink Beans 1 tsp sea salt 4 tbs Smith & Wollensky Barbecue Sauce 1 tbs Drogheria & Alimentari 4 Seasons Pepper Corns, fresh ground (4 different kinds of pepper corns in pepper mill) 1 tbs Grill Mates Montreal Steak Seasoning 6 oz water 3oz Porto Barros Imperial Ruby, port wine, Portugal
WHAT TO DO :
begin browning beef in skillet on medium heat -- peel onions, grate using old stainless grater; smallish last sections cut into small slices -- peel potatoes; use the slice part of grater to make thin slices (new technique, never tried before -- resulting slices are really thin, probably good for potato chips if deep fried); the last sections are diced -- peel and slice garlic -- everything but the beef goes into a large bowl and is lightly mixed
fill bottom of crock pot with half of the above, part of carrots, beans and cranberries -- browned beef separated into smallish clumps on top -- slosh on barbecue sauce -- add pepper and seasoning, half of water, rest of beans and remaining bowl contents, cover
Set the COOK TIME 2 clicks to HIGH / 6 HRS
slightly mix at 3 hours, add 3 oz of water -- as usual, the pot is extremely hot
add port and blueberries after 4.5 hours, mix slightly -- the automatic yellow WARM light went on at about 0.49h of Thursday, signaling that it was done -- I mixed it all more thoroughly than before, and the blueberries really stained the bamboo spatula I used! I allowed it to cool about an hour, then taste tested it
N O T E S : * After eight months to the day without use, I once again got enthused to try a new crocked recipe -- eBay bidders must all be away on vacation, bidding is slow and minimal -- for example, tonight I had 15 items end, of which only 5 had any bids and sold -- 1 in 3 will probably not pay, the usual obnoxious deadbeat --
it just is not worth the effort to list
items every day during the summer, so I have been spending some
quality time making a single web page for each of my many registered
domain names in the hope
that it may attract interested buyers; I still have quite a few
yet to do -- and also playing with the new Sphynx kittens -- 
-- which
are now 8 weeks old --
I changed computers since last Christmas, and am now typing this on my recent new eMac toy.
Scientists recently found that blueberries contain a lot of Pterostilbene, hence the name I gave this culinary delight -- pterostilbene is a natural chemical compound found abundantly in blueberries and grapes, and is produced by environmental stress in the plants when exposed to fungal infection and ultraviolet light, among other negative stimuli -- such substances are classed as phytoalexins, which are powerful antioxidants. I assume they will soon be found in the vitamin section of supermarkets and specialty health shops.
Researchers say these phytoalexins appear to effectively combat cell and DNA damage associated with cancer, heart disease, diabetes and perhaps also brain degeneration in lab animals and hopefully, in humans.
I am now having a little Polmos, Gold-Wasser, Ltota
Woda, a liquor flavored with herbs and
spices, to which individual small flakes of pure GOLD
are added and float around when the bottle is shaken -- 
-- made in Poland -- it is an occasional pre-supper thing which
I discovered while studying in Germany many years ago -- my usual
brand was made in Leipzig, but for some reason Frank,
down the street, who owns the wine and spirits shop (tastelessly,
here, referred to as the
liquor store on the corner!), said his
fine source stopped stocking Der Lachs, and only
has this Polish brand available -- I got what was the last almost
complete case his wholesaler had! They say that the GOLD
flakes help keep the immune
system at its best -- apparently, it never
caught on here in the States, which is a shame because way too
many immune systems are way
out of whack here, for one reason or another
-- should I mention, as an example, the off-the-wall election
propaganda twists and turns, assertions and denials, that have
been a staple for the last few months in any and all media? The
potential voter sheep must be dizzy by now, trying to figure out what the
real scoop is -- baaaaaaaaaaaaa. The peeps are completely confused, but maybe that
is exactly what those in power want them to be. I cannot wait
to see, come November, how many recounts will be needed this time!
OK, I am now sitting in front of my computer, bowl of the new creation in front of me and a stemmed glass of the great red wine to my right, and I cannot believe how fabulous this is! If I would change anything, it might possibly be a tad less water!
Incidently, just out of curiosity, I did
an AOL search for Chef
Sonny -- 
-- and I was amazed that this page is at the
top of the list! Somebody must be reading it out there in cyberlandia.
Cheers!
The accompanying
wine was a -- -- 1997 Cà del Pazzo / Montalcino,Italy.
CAT APPROVAL INDEX : 5- the cats picked out some of the meat, but I may have added too much spicy stuff, which they tend to avoid -- oh, well, that means it will last me yet another day!
Prepared on : Wednesday/Thursday, 25/26 August 2004
Stay Tuned For More Kewl Recipes.....
Questions and comments
may be emailed to Crocked
Chef Sonny at 
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