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AMORPHOUS PHALLUS
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The graphic representations of Phalli on this page are NOT appropriate for those under the age of consent, which varies from state to state, and is different for most foreign countries. Please check your local and national laws to determine if you may legally view this page. Further viewing means that you have read this notice and are NOT a minor -- miners from the coal fields of the world are naturally excluded from this warning. And remember to ALWAYS practice safe sex. One of the best 21st century ways to do that is to set up a live web cam and provide nightly steaming hot solo shows, which also stimulate other lonely peeps to get off, thus making them happier citizens and leading to a more peaceful world. With any luck, you might even be nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize! |
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Introduction The photo in the header shows an Ice Age fossil walrus baculus, a penis bone found in some mammals, and a Beanie Baby toy for scale -- it is from my new subspecies of walrus, which I described and published in a scientific journal way back in 1963. OK, I do not want to be too long-winded in this introduction, as I am sure that you all want to see the exciting images, in full living color. Actually the lady at the flea market who sells buttons and other collectibles gave me the idea for this page just before last Christmas, 1999. Somehow I usually seem to get distracted with other activities and many of my projects are delayed a lot longer than I might like. Here, then, is the long awaited erotic expose that I am sure that many of my viewers have been anxiously waiting to see for years already. You can finally feast your eyes on the choice raw anatomy shown in the following photos. So all you girls viewing this page, get those cucumbers ready.
And a big welcome to the guys of the Rainbow Group who may be interested in these things. You probably already have matters in hand. Come on Bush, tell us all about your daughter! You might get a lot more votes!! Background The nice lady at the flea market had a bag hidden under the seat in her van. It was a slow day, and as we talked, as we usually do when she is there, she whipped it out to show the contents to me. I could never have even imagined, even in my wildest moments (which are VERY few and far between, incidently!) what it contained! It was from her own collection of erotica, and was hormongous, firm, round and even sort of hairy on the bottom part! As she fondled it in her sweaty palms, she enthusiastically and without trepidation told me the story of how and where she got it. Her eyes lit up as she went into all the sordid details. I was sort of shocked, as I had never heard her talk about such things before. I, of course, said I would like to have it for my own collection of erotica, and was surprised that she gave it to me without a second thought. "OK, stud muffin, you can have it. It really reminds me of you", she said! So the really exotic phallus sat, unattended and forgotten, wrapped in newspaper until the spring, when I, purely by chance, happened to notice it again. Please keep in mind that the following pics are UNRETOUCHED, UNALTERED original color photos. They are NOT for the average Puritanical American viewer or those who might have social, moral or religious beliefs which may prohibit them from looking at actual photographs of totally unclothed, naked living things. The pics were taken in the privacy of my tiled apartment bathroom, where I would not even allow my cats to see what I was doing with my phallus. The tiles are 4 1/4" square, so you can get a real true feeling for the size of this gigantic spectacular organ -- and just imagine what you could do with it at your place! You will note that it gets longer, which is normal I guess, even without VIAGRA, as the pics continue in ordered chronological sequence. It simply shows the loving care that I have taken with it over time. Always be good to your phallus and it will be good to you! Are you ready?? Here comes............ |
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The Pics First, how about a pic of my favorite briefs as an appetizer, just to get those hormones moaning for more? OK, back to my phallus, which is why you came to this page in the first place! Here is the first shot. Notice its amazing, thick succulent 10 inches EVEN BEFORE it is fully erect! W O W !! Do they call that the foreskin covering the ever-growing shaft? The large round ball-shaped part at the base of the shaft is unable to be viewed in this thrilling shot, unfortunately. Use your imagination..... Did you notice how thick and firm it is, even before full growth? This next exclusive photo really has some DIRT in it! Notice how there seems to be something starting to come out of its head -- and part of what I called the foreskin seems to be receding. WOW, what a docking place!! ......... Here is a more recent pic showing some of the really intimate-looking branching vein-like structures hidden previously beneath what I called the foreskin. It is now OVER 18" long!! Imagine the fun you could have with one that long!....... |
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OK, so I attempted to use cheap check-out counter "journalism" / creative writing to get you to even click on this page! At least the more prurient of you did get to see the briefs that I only wore twice and the walrus baculum, which were both new lustful experiences for you. Was it as good for you as it was for me?? I got the big-bulbed plant from that nice lady at the flea market and was told how amazing it would be to watch it grow and bloom. First, I should store it in a dark place, in newspaper until the spring, when it would pop up and show itself. I waited and waited, saw a slight growth, took it out of the stainless steel pail I had it in downstairs and placed it in a glass bowl in the bathroom so my cats would not get to it (PIC 1) on 5 July. It occurred to me that perhaps it was not growing as spectacularly as I might have imagined because it did not have any soil. So that was the next step, adding soil (PIC 2), on 1 August. The growth medium (= soil) really did improve its progress, and it now has what appears to be incipient branches with feathery leaves (?) on the tips. I can not wait to see what else develops. Last week she told me it should have flowered already, so I guess I will have to wait until next year to see the bloom. It should really be out in my little garden in back the apartment, but I still have to remove the weeds which are now as high as trees before I can plant what I want there. She calls it Amorphous Phallus, although I checked my exotic plant books and did not see it listed as a common name in the indices. The books are much too thick to go through the thousands of photos to try to accidently find it, so I really have no idea what its real name is, the details of its growth or where it normally lives -- althought she did say it is tropical and not all that common. I hope to add more pics as the plant develops further, so stay tuned. Maybe I can even eventually identify it. Horacio, are you reading this? Es un genero de plantas bulbosas tipicas del sudeste de Asia, por lo tanto tropicales. La más impresionante es A. titanum que produce la flor más grande de todas las especies vegetales (por cierto con un desagradable olor a carne podrida que atrae a las moscas que la polinizan). Hay otros Amorphophallus como el A. bulbifer, A.paeonifolius de flores grandes pero no tan espectaculares como A. titanum. El nombre significa "pene deformado" por la forma que tiene la espiga central donde están las inflorescencias. Esa espiga central con forma de pene esta rodeada de una bractea (spathe) en el centro de la cual es donde emerge la inflorescencia. A. titanum puede alcanzar una altura de 8 ft y una anchura de 5 ft. Requieren suelos ricos en humus y humedad y calor altos al ser plantas tropicales. Si florece se puede identificar que tipo de Amorphopallus es con facilidad. El género Amorphophallus pertenece a la familia Araceae Y colorin colorado por ahora he terminado Un abrazo, Hay un hongo - que puestos a nombrar falos - recibe el nombre de Phallus impudicus. |
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